I'm a 19 years old girl and I have been diagnosticed with ADD withouth hyperactivity a few weeks ago.

It's like someone put all the pices of the puzzles into place. If I was religious I would say it's a godsend.

I allways knew I was different. As far as I can remember ( 3 years old)I was allways the odd kid out. but being lonely didn't bother me as long as the other children didn't pick on me and as long as I was a child add wasn't crippling.

Children are looked after. my days where schreduled for me, and ( even better )the grown ups around me made sure I stuck too it. So even if I kept forgetting and/or loosing everything under the sun it wasn't really important because I wasn't responnsible for much.

I was an average student. I daydreamed all the time, probably could have skipped school half the week for all the time I spent actually listenning. but I'm smart and my memory (when the info get to it)is good, very very good. so I allways got by.

It probably helped my sense of selfworth that I was one halleluyah of a pigheaded kid and point blank refused to even consider that their was something wrong with my oddities ( not all related to ADD, I dressed like a boy for exemple. at one point I was called young man as much as young lady. still happens)

so I allways knew I was different. A few years ago I realised I also had a problem.

It's annoying when a child can't look after himself/herself, but it's not an issue because he/she not suposed to.

but I'm not a child anymore, somwhere during my teenage years I was suposed to strech my wings, and start to become independant. I didn't. I live with my parents, the only job I ever held lasted about a month (I thought I was focussing pretty well, but I was probably too slow. the neurologist who did my diagnostic told me I was slower than average), I have, litteraly, no social life outside of my class and I'm quiet. academics not wistanding I live like a 12 years old and a shy one at that.

I'm curently in cegep , in qubec ( Canada) its two years beetween hight school and university and a mix of the two. the only things you have to do is to turn up for class ( they don't care if you miss it but you have to go to a minimum of hours), hand over your papers, and present yourself for the exams. I learned one important things : structure is important. Basicly left to my own devices I reppeted the same shemas each semester : fail the two first exams, then work franticly to cram three months worth of lessons into my brain in a week or less to pass the last with a hight enough grade to make up for the others. At the end of each semester I tell myself : No more. I swear. I'll be a good student. I'll study regulary (even before knowing you can have ADD withouth being hyperactive I knew focusing for three hours straight was beiong me). Each semester I did it again. then it got really bad last year. Due to forgetting to sent my choice of class to the admimistration until after the dead line I only had three class instead of six. only one was a real chalenge. With so little to do my work ethics went from sporadic to non existant. I failed the first one before I forgot to write a paper that amounted fot 30% of the finale grade. I failed the second one (beginner spanish, so easy it was a joke) because I didn't go to the finale exam. I failed the third one ( organic chimistry, fun but hard) because cramming two days before the final exam wasn't enought to save me this time.

By that point, my parents and I had separatly come to the conclusion that we had to do something.

there is no shame in failing three class because they're too hard. You did your best, you can't be asked for more than that.

Failing three class because you spent all your time partying and goofing around. Weell... You're only young once.
( My parents are at the point of wishing I had done that.)

Failing three class when you can handle the double easely because you spent your days in la la land , alone, in your room, on your computer. And your 19 years old. that pathetic.

So we knew something had to be done. We just didn't know what.

Then my mom heard that you could have attention deficit disorder withouth being hyperactive. before that we only knew the stereotype of the little boy who's bouncing of the walls like the energiser bunny. Wich is not like my at all, the running joke in my familly is that I have two of blood presure. So she got interested, went to the public library, rented a book about it, read it all the while thinking ''that's my daughter'', she gave me the book and asked me if I thought it sounded like me, it did, a lot, did I want to try to get a diagnostic ?, hell yea.

So I've been on concerta for a week, not sure it's working yet. When the medication is adjusted I'll start therapy to get ride of the anxiety I developed and develope tools to deal with ADD.

I already learned a lot about myself since I started learning about ADD. I'm hopefull about the future, something I've not been for a long time. One of the best thing I think was that there are a lot of people like me. It feels great.

Back to ADD Stories