I'm 57 years old and have known I'm ADD for about 10 years now--since my oldest son was diagnosed with the same thing and I knew we were VERY much alike.

I'm an artist and very open about being ADD. I think just being an artist allows me to admit to people that I'm a little wierd at times because of my ADD and I think they accept it and see it in me as part of the whole creative person that I am.

During the past 10 years I would take Ritalin at times when I need to concentrate on something I really didn't want to do such as reading a computer handbook, you know, technical info. . . .

My worst enemy is boredom and I go from project to project, medium to medium. I conquer one field, and then I'm off to another one--leaving many unfinished projects in the wake, always thinking I will get back to them. And I still believe that that is true--that I will get back to them.

I think one of the greatest attributes that I attribute to my ADD is persistence (hyper focusing). When there is something I really do want to get done--I will stay at it for weeks, months and even years. Believe me there are many many things that I'm not persistent with, but when something does come my way and I want it--I don't let go. That quality allowed me to adopt a teenage boy from a Central American country where it was almost impossible to do and yet I did it. I also worked on a project with homeless people that spanned over 10 years. I learned all sorts of new skills such as; interviewing, writing and editing--but I still haven't fulfilled all of my visions for that project--but I will.. . . someday.

I think my greatest personal failure to myself was that I wanted to learn Spanish but couldn't. I wanted badly to communicate better with the new family we've unintentionally adopted by adopting our new son--lots of brothers and sisters, all wanting help, all wanting money. So even though I've been trying to learn Spanish for over 6 years now, taking classes here and there, spending 4 months in Lat Amer doing the adoption process and recently two weeks of a Spanish Immersion class--I still can't speak worth a damn. My brain just doesn't process the information quick enough to speak.

I have a poor audio memory, short term memory problems and a blender goes off in my mind when I try to speak. All of which makes it about impossible to speak in any intelligent way with any one. And I know it takes me so so much longer to really remember anything compared to someone with out ADD. But I do like challenges and I'm never bored. But after taking 2 weeks of a language class and not being able to speak even a tiny bit better--I'm finally giving up on the speaking part and accepting my limitations. I really don't like to do that but I think it's about time I face the reality of my ADD/learning disablities when it comes to language.

I also have trouble speaking in an intelligent way even in English. I am very limited in my vocabulary. I know quite a lot of words, but for some reason I cannot pronounce most of them when the time comes that I want to use them. When I was a child, I was smart but phonetics was a total mystery to me--I cheated my way through it which is not something I felt good about. I just didn't know how else to deal with the fact that none of the teacher's information was getting through to me. I couldn't stand the idea of being labeled dumb by anyone even though I certainly was in that area.

There are so many stories or experiences that I've had with my ADD and how I've adapted to it. But what I really wanted to say when I started this essay was that I finally got tired of living in a fog and not accomplishing anything since my adoption experience--so I started reading up on ADD literature and have gotten on some new medication--Concerta which has helped my immensely.

What can I say except I now have a clean studio and a clean garage and hope to someday have a clean house. I'm also getting my act together so I can support myself again as an artist--at least pay for my wonderful studio. I think the Concerta has helped me stay focused in many general ways--but mostly I think it has brightened my view of the world so that I am coping better, I'm not so anxious, which I didn't even know I was! A pile of papers on my desk doesn't bring anxiety to my core any more, I just see it as something I need to tackle a bit at a time and that it is a do-able task.

Well, that is all for now. . .

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